Christmas in Australia is backwards

Its 40 degrees at Christmas time in Australia Santa so how about taking off that stupid jacket

santa

Many things about Christmas in Australia are brilliant. You can drink beer on the beach, play backyard cricket, eat cold meats on Christmas day and because of the heat, girls don’t wear much clothing.

I still find it strange to hear the words “merry Christmas” whilst standing on the beach wearing shorts and t-shirt but I will get used to it.

There are other things won’t get used to though.

I wasn’t born in Australia, I moved here when i was 17. During my childhood Christmas was cold, things were covered in snow, and Santa, quite rightly, wore a thick coat to keep himself warm. I have spent the past 10 years living in Australia however, and Christmas here makes less sense than trying to understand what the Kardashians are famous for.

Much like a Kardashian, Santa also has a rather large rear end and he wears a ridiculous fur outfits completely unsuited to the situation he is in. In Australia, Santa wears a thick red coat despite the fact that its generally 40 degrees around Christmas time.

Imagine the scene for a second… You are wearing your shorts, a singlet and thongs, walking around on a scorching hot summers day. It is so hot that even the sweat between your butt cheeks is sweating and you contemplate wringing out your underwear just for a drink.

You stick your hand in your pocket and thankfully you find a couple of dollars so you decide to duck inside an air-conditioned shopping mall to grab a drink and cool down for a minute. Upon entering the mall during the Australian Christmas period you will likely find what is one of the silliest things you will ever encounter… The jolly red man in full winter attire sat in the middle of a picturesque European winter scene of snow, reindeer and icicles. This is despite the fact that the majority of South Australians have never actually seen snow in their home state. People here even spray fake snow on their windows because they are being all traditional and stuff!

Its 40 degrees at Christmas time in Australia Santa so how about taking off that stupid jacket

The fat man is not only found inside shopping malls though. Once a year in my home city we have a Christmas Pageant. This is a fantastic thing for kids and causes thousands of otherwise sane adults, to dress up like idiots and line the streets. They are all awaiting one thing, the arrival of Santa Claus. But despite the fact that it is often close to 35 degrees on pageant day, he shows up wearing his full mid-winter suit which everybody finds perfectly normal.

Sometimes, usually spurred on by the older generation, Santa can be found decked out in board shorts or a Hawaiian shirt. The strangest thing about this is that nobody seems to find Santa wearing this attire strange in the slightest!

The funniest thing about it all though, is that to the average Australian, this is all perfectly normal.

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I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

1 COMMENT

  1. So true i took my Little boy to see Santa at Munno Para and he had 3 stand up fans blowing on him and they were in the way of the camera. Go Figure!!!!! he should be able to wear shorts and things and a nice red t shirt………. this is F ing Funny as and true JB

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