I am known for being “that funny guy off the radio” and that doesn’t really match up with a tough guy persona should I ever want to develop one.
I’ve had an idea to get around this though; all I need to do is get an offensive tattoo that is always on show. People will then assume that I’m slightly tougher than I really am and will cross to the other side of the street when I’m walking towards them.
I have thought about getting something written on my knuckles. Having a tattoo saying ‘love’ and ‘hate’ seems a bit full on for me, so I would have to get something a bit more fitting.
I was born in England so perhaps ‘fish’ and ‘chips’ would be good, or maybe ‘run’ and ‘swim’ to give me some motivation to work on my fitness every time I look at my hands. I also thought about getting ‘YOLO’ and ‘swag’ on my knuckles, but then I remembered that I’m not a douchebag.
I have seriously thought about getting a tattoo but if I was going to do it, I would get it done properly I would pay a bit of money and get something decent done by a professional tattoo artist with some talent. A tattoo lasts for life, so I struggle to comprehend why anybody would get tattooed in a backyard AIDS parlour by somebody who has the artistic skill of a 5 year old with Parkinson’s.
Put some thought into your tattoo
I don’t have a problem with tattoos, some look great but other leave you wondering WTF the person was thinking at the time!
A tattoo is a personal thing and often has deep meaning to the bearer. This makes it hard to understand why somebody would think its a good idea to get ‘slut‘ written across their chest, or ‘exit only‘ across the top of their arse. I think there are bigger issues you should be concerned about if you need to get a reminder of that written permanently across your rear end.
People who incorporate parts of their body into a stupid tattoo must surely have some brain cells missing as well. The artwork on this cat for example is actually quite good, aside from the shit stain around its asshole. I doubt however that people would pay any attention to the quality of the artwork because they would be too busy laughing at the guy who has it across his stomach.
Alcohol and bad tattoos
Alcohol obviously plays a large part in the abundance of crap tattoos in the world, because its a fact that booze causes people to make stupid decisions.
Every weekend, thousands of guys choose to go out to bars, have a couple drinks, then catch chlamydia from the first girl who walks past. Others, who are not lucky enough to be within the vicinity of a woman, grab their mates and decide to immortalise the night by getting a spontaneous tattoo of something stupid.
The trouble is, at 3am when you you have enough alcohol in your system to make Snooki seem attractive, it might seem like the funniest thing in the world to get a tattoo of a penis that has a penis tattooed on it tattooed permanently on your penis. I assure you that it isn’t.
When you you have enough alcohol in your system to make Snooki seem attractive, it might seem like the funniest thing in the world to get a tattoo of a penis that has a penis tattooed on it tattooed permanently on your penis. It isn’t
Unless you are a raging alcoholic, at some point you are going to sober up and come to the realization that your tattoo is shit and that no girl is ever going to sleep with you again after they see you naked.
Call me pedantic, but if I was going to get something tattooed permanently onto my skin, the first thing I would do is ensure I was at a decent tattoo shop. Next I would get the tattooist to write it on my skin in something that can be washed off and then make sure that it was spelt correctly and contained the correct grammar before getting it inked on my skin permanently.
You may think it is judgemental of me, but if the tattooist has trouble stringing a sentence together, I would leave and go somewhere else. Maybe tattooists should be made to sit a spelling test for some of the more commonly used tattoo slogans that thousands of people per minute get inked on them to express their individuality such as ‘Only God can judge me‘, ‘Such is life‘, and ‘Dare to be different‘.
And why do why do people with absolutely no Asian heritage in them whatsoever feel the need to get Chinese symbols tattooed on themselves when they have no idea what the symbols actually mean? For all they know it could say “I like sex with goats“. I know people with Asian tattoos who, many years later, still don’t know what the symbols mean.
Over the course of writing this post, I have thought about it some more and I think I will just stick to those temporary tattoo transfers that kids use. They wash off, they don’t hurt.