Society doesn’t seem to bothered by nude dogs either. For this reason, I struggle to comprehend why some people feel the need to dress their dogs up in clothing.
Some people feel that their dog is more than a slobbery friend or a brilliant burglar alarm. If you are an NFL Quarterback you might even think that a dog is a good betting tool. Some people however think that their dog is just another fashion accessory for them to wear alongside their pink nails and sparkly handbag. Do you honestly think that your dog enjoys wearing a hat and sunglasses, or finds it thrilling to wear a tutu?
National Dress up your Dog Day
January 14th is National Dress Up Your Dog Day and I have some advice for you… Don’t!
I understand that occasionally there might be a need for your dog to wear a jumper during the colder months of the year, but there is absolutely no need for people to dress their dog up like Nikki Minaj’s hairy cousin before parading it down the street.
Every time I see people out with a dog wearing a little pink sweater and matching booties, I just want to put the animal out of its misery… And by animal, I am not referring to the dog. You only have to look in the dogs eyes and you can see it wishing for opposable thumbs so that it can remove the clothing from its body and then wrap the outfit around its owners neck.
Lets face it, if you are the type of person who parades their dog around at Christmas dressed as an elf, it is highly likely that you are not the type of person that anybody would enjoy talking to at the work Christmas party. This is because they are fearful that somebody might see you standing next to each other and assume that you are friends and therefore equally insane.
You only have to look in the dogs eyes and you can see it wishing for opposable thumbs so that it can remove the clothing from its body and then wrap the outfit around its owners neck.
Do these people not have anything better do do in their lives than go to the shops, buy a ridiculous outfit, put it on their dog and then parade it around like their it is child? I like to think that there is a special kind of hell for these people, where big scary dogs spend eternity dressing them up as ballerinas before shoving half chewed bones up their ass and making them twirl like a princess in a jewellery box.
It gets worse though, because, for the low price of way to much money, you can actually get a pet stylist to come to your house and dress your dog up for you in this seasons latest trends. Yes, that is correct; psychologists are not the only people who have created careers for themselves based on other peoples insanity.
Have you noticed that people who dress their dogs up in matching outfits often carry them with them everywhere they go? Unless it is a seeing eye dog, there is absolutely no reason to take your dog everywhere. and you don’t need to carry your dog like you have just rescued it from a burning building.
And your dog does not need a stroller either. If it has 4 perfectly fine legs then it is capable of walking as its ancestors have done for many thousands of years and it doesn’t need pink shoes either. I honestly used to see a couple who dressed their obese dog up in a tutu and shoes. They pushed it around in a stroller and every day they would stop at the local chip shop and hand feed the dog chips for lunch. If that isn’t animal abuse I’m not sure what is.
If you dress your dog up, you probably have your reasons. Whatever these reasons are, please know that your dog hates you for it so stop it now. And take your dog out of your handbag too you idiot.