Online advertising fails

There are a number of things to consider when creating an advert for the internet... Apparently realism isn't one of them.

I understand the need for advertising. Pay per Click (PPC) advertising supports this blog and without it I would fail in my attempt to become a millionaire internet blogger.

OK. Support was an overstatement. I honestly don’t make much money from it at all. If I was to break down the amount of money I make from the number of clicks I get on the ads here verses the amount of time I spend writing posts, it isn’t worth me doing it at all.

I would honestly earn more money if I spent the same amount of time working in a 3rd world sweatshop sewing badges onto fake Gucci bags for American woman who have so much botox in their lips, that they could use them as a floatation device if they fall over the edge of their boyfriends yacht.

On the internet, advertisers and marketers use targeted advertising to seek out the demographics and show ads to the people who are most likely to be interested in the product or services they are selling. I don’t mind targeted advertising if done properly. If they notice that I have an interest in technology and start displaying adverts for cool new products that I may not have heard of I am all for that. If I was browsing the internet for a Russian bride and an ad popped up for Russian brides, I may even click on it in the hope that I meet my very own Svetlana.

Where I dislike advertising is when it takes me for an idiot.

Advertising Photoshop fails

Allow me to present to following advertising fails which has been popping up in my newsfeed quite a bit lately. I’m pretty sure these are part of some stupid pyramid scheme.

I understand that I am a young male and therefore in the demographic who may be interested in ordering gym and workout supplements that increase muscle so that girls will go crazy for me and I can sleep with as many as possible before I get old and wrinkly. That said, these 3 terrible Photoshop jobs are laughably unrealistic and would greatly appreciate if Facebook could stop making them appear on my timeline.

  1. I don’t want giant man boobs which look like somebody has inflated 2 huge balloons in my chest. I have never seen anybody with forearms the size of their head either. I also don’t have any interest in advertising that wants me to click on it yet pictures a guy sitting with his shirt undone in a pose that looks like he is modelling for a gay dating website.
  2. I don’t wish to be 8 foot tall with the biggest arms in the world and muscles that look like they were drawn on in pen. The muscle guys arm is the same size as the small guys body. I can only imagine the difficulties that this must cause him with basic day to day task such as putting on clothing and wiping his ass. Also, once again this looks like it could also be a promo for a gay dating site.
  3. I don’t want to look like a pumped up bulldog with a tiny head and a body that looks like a child has just discovered the liquify tool in Photoshop. I also kind of like my neck and im not sure that I want to use any ‘muscle short cuts’ which will cause it to disappear into my body.

I kind of like my neck and im not sure that I want to use any ‘muscle short cuts’ which will cause it to disappear into my body.

There are 2 main things to consider when advertising online

  • Make your advertising professional, honest and above all else, believable.
  • Target your advertising well so that you get the highest possible click through rate from people who may be interested in your product, which will translate into sales.
  • Don’t be a dick.

Who is clicking on these adverts?

I am not sure what the click through rate of these adverts is but judging by the number of times they pop up, they must be proving successful because whoever is behind them is blowing an awful lot of dollars on them.

The sad thing is that somewhere out there, people must believe these ads are truthful, despite never having seen freaks like this in the real world. They must be clicking on the adverts and they must be buying the product. I have a word for these people… morons.

I guess then, that in the world of targeted online advertising anything goes. Now I’m off to Photoshop my face onto the body of an eagle soaring through the sky and place an advert for my “flight hormone” in the hope that some moron will buy it and jump off of a cliff.

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I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

2 COMMENTS

  1. some of the adverts online really are bad. I can’t believe people actually fall for some of the outrageous claims and the awfully photo-shopped photos that accompany them.

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