I’m not going to lie. I am a bit of a gaming nerd.
Not the stereotypical “doesn’t have a job because he spends all day sitting around in his sweat stained undies eating food crumbs that have fallen into his lap and spends his spare time attending conventions to discuss the limitations in real world physics that make Superman impossible”, kind of nerd.
I’m more of the, “oh that looks cool, I’m going to pay full price for it the first week it is released and probably never play it after that but at least I have lots of cool toys”, kind of nerd.
Things that annoy gamers
To coincide with the launch of the Playstation 4 and next-generation gaming. Now is a good time to take a look back at some of the things that have annoyed gamers through the generations. I couldn’t think of a nicely rounded 10 things that annoy gamers so here are 9…
Trash talking kids playing M rated games
The internet is full of kids who are obsessed with the latest Call of Duty game and trash talking. Well, I say trash talking, but the limited intelligence of a 14 year old means that all they are capable of saying into the headset is “I f**ked your mum”.
I have taken the liberty to transcribe some generic trash-talking with one of these kids:
Me: “Knock knock…”
Kid: “Whos there”
Me: “BOOM, HEADSHOT! My bullet in your face”
Kid: “I f**ked your mum”
Me: “If you want my comeback… You’ll have to scrape it off of your mums face”
Kid: “That doesn’t even make sense. I f**ked your mum”
Me: “It does, you are just a moron”
Kid: “I f**ked your mum”
Me: “Santa Claus isn’t real”
Kid: *tears* “But… I… f**ked… your… mum…”
The limited intelligence of a 14 year old means that all they are capable of saying into the headset is “I f**ked your mum
Corrupted save files
Lost memory cards
Dying just before the boss dies
Back in the days when games didn’t generally come with an endless number of lives, once you died a set number of times it was game over. With that in mind, it’s taken you weeks of hard graft to get to that epic boss battle towards the end of the game. You have beaten him so badly that he could be dating Chris Brown, but he has the tiniest bit of life left and so do you. One more hit will do it but he turns around and gives you the tiniest little bump which kills you. This leads to an instant *RAGEQUIT* and you won’t touch the game for months.
Saving at a stupid point
Some games let you save whenever you want to. Its a tough game so just to be on the safe side, because you are low on supplies/ammo/life you save your game. Around the next corner you run into something that easily kills you. You respawn into an endless cycle of death. The only solution is to start your game again ll because of your own bad luck saving where you did.
Skiping something vital during a cutscene
We have all done it. You can’t be bothered watching the whole cut scene so you skip ahead, except you’ve skipped too far and no you have absolutely no idea what to do after the cutscene because you skipped it. Now you have to spend three times as long as the original cutscene would have lasted, trying to figure out what to do next.
The nemesis of online gaming is lag. Everybody else is teleporting around the map at lightspeed like they are Goku, whilst you are chugging around like a senile old person looking for their meds.
This was more of an issue in the older days of gaming when technology wasn’t quite up to the standard that allows the sprawling maps such as on GTA 5 or Infamous. You would be walking along when all of a sudden you are stopped dead in your tracks by an invisible wall for no logical reason other than the fact that this was where they decided to stop making the map.
Split screen gaming
Playing video games with friends is great. Before the modern days of online gaming though we were forced to be in the same room, sharing the same TV set. I have many memories of playing Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64 constantly dying because my asshole friends knew every single spot on every single map so would know exactly where I was just by looking at my screen.
What annoys you when gaming? Are you eagerly awaiting the launch of the Playstation 4 so that you can take a week off work and not shower? Let me know in the comments.