My taco was good. I didn’t post a daily photo of it on Facebook though. I mean I could have posted one of it in the oven, one of it as soon as I took it out of the oven, one of it on my plate, one as I was chewing it and one as it exited my body the next day.
I didn’t though, because nobody cares.
Making a kid is possibly the easiest thing in the world that a person can do. In fact, it is so easy to do that bogans who are incapable of stringing together a coherent sentence, are still able to pop out 11 or 12 of them per year in order to claim Centrelink benefits.
I wrote a post a while back about annoying things that people post on Facebook. On that list was the ‘Proud Parent’. This is a person who is so very proud that their creation has learnt to eat/shit/throw up that they need to tell everybody about every single moment of the childs life through their social media pages. We don’t need hundreds of photographs of its faecal matter on our screen every day when we log in to Facebook and we definitely didn’t need to see that all access video of your birthing canal.
Congratulations, you made a kid with your genitals… I made a taco once.
Things people overshare about their kids on facebook
Why did you think we needed to know that your kid just did that? Has your kid been unable to excrete bodily fluids up until this point in his life then, through the miracle of modern medicine, has finally been cured? If so then feel free to tell us all about it. If not, then don’t.
There are people on my Facebook who post a daily photo of their kid doing the most menial of things. Woofuckinghoo! Not only do I get to see another photo of Billy so that I see how much he has grown since yesterday (hint: he is the same height). I also get a daily reminder of how many of your stupid photos I have seen on my Facebook timeline.
“Billy is the best kid in the world, repost if you agree.”
“We are so thrilled that little Billy won a badge at school today”.
People who have their kids as profile photos
I understand how having a kid is a beautiful thing for a family, therefore they want everybody to see their child. But it feels really fucking weird seeing a profile photo of a 3 year old baby next to a status that says, “I got so drunk on the weekend that I passed out in the yard and only woke up because a dog was taking a piss on my face. This is the worst hangover of my life, I’m never drinking again”.
Please don’t try to rectify this by creating a separate profile for your kid (or dog for that matter) because that’s just weird as well. We all know that your baby can’t use Facebook.
Well done for giving birth
We understand that your child is special, every child is special… my taco was special too.