Football or Soccer… Which sport is the true football?

Sport is just a load of guys playing with their balls whilst other guys run after them trying to grab their balls. After they're done with that, they all head into the locker room, get naked and slap each other with towels.

Maybe that was just my experience of playing sport then?

Regardless, for most of us, once you hit the age of 25 and realise that you are never going to make it as a professional athlete, you then become an armchair expert, living out your dreams through the performance of your favourite team each Sunday from the comfort of your lounge.

You also spend your spare time arguing with your friends that the  group of randomly selected, overpaid men in matching shirts you like are better than the other groups of randomly selected, overpaid men in matching shirts that they like.

Sport is just a load of guys playing with their balls whilst other guys run after them trying to grab their balls.

Football or soccer?

originalPeople will argue about anything; Playstation or Xbox, Liberal or Labor, which member of One Direction actually has male genitalia. As soon as any form of football is mentioned however, a full scale war develops over which sport has rightful ownership of the name.

I was in a debate club once, but unlike fight club, we couldn’t settle on a first rule, therefore we didn’t have many debates. I won’t let that deter me though as I intend to debate the issue of which football deserves the name football before ramming the my conclusion down your throat like a fullback heading in for a touchdown.

Before you get at me about the history of the different games, I know all about the history of each sport and that they all originally came from the same game before branching off. For the sake of this post however, I don’t care so I’m going to ignore all of that and just focus on the logic of the names in the present time. I really don’t have time to research and back this post up with hard facts because the game is about to start.

In most of the world, the game that some countries refer to as soccer, is known as football. This makes sense because, aside from Diego Maradona, players spend the entire game kicking the ball with their foot. It is, in all senses of the word… Football.

World Champions of American Football

In the United States they predominantly play American Football. It is a sport played almost exclusively with hands yet they call it football despite the fact that handegg is a much more appropriate name. In fact, they should probably call it “Line up. Run a little. Line back up ball.” but thats not very catchy.

American Football is one of my favourite sports in the world. There is nothing better than watching two massive guys run head-first into each other without the slightest thought of the impending brain damage that may occur. Despite my love of the game, I dispute the American claim that their version of football is the true football.

It also infuriates me that they call the winners of their national ‘American’ football competition the “World Champions” when no other country takes part. I understand that many Americans think that their country is the only one in the world and have trouble with placing other countries on a map therefore perhaps these delusions are justified?

Then again, my local pizza shop claims to have “world famous pizza” which they clearly don’t have, and Budweiser claims to be the “king of beers” which it isn’t. I just hope that Vulcans and Klingons aren’t offended by bodybuilding tournaments and beauty pageants calling their winners “Mr. Universe” or “Miss Universe“.

Football in Australia

Here in Australia we have four sports all calling themselves football, we have soccer, Australian rules, rugby league and rugby union. At least Australian Rules Football (AFL) is played with the hands and the feet but rugby is pretty much just guys running with a ball in their hands who only kick it when they can’t run any more. It is stupid calling a sport where you run with a ball in your hands football… Its like calling a truck a car because they both drive on a road.

Rugby is kind of like American Football except its played by men with misshapen ears who hold a ball in their hands and run into each other really hard without wearing pads or helmets. Despite this, they still claim rightful ownership of the name football in Australia. Its as stupid a claim as calling cricket faceball because occasionally the ball bounces off of the batsmans face.

Which sport deserves to be called football?

football meme

If you look at the different versions of football around the world, the name is used to describe the most popular sport in a country. If another ball sport other than the round ball game, is more popular (such as in America and Australia) then that sport is generally referred to as football and the round ball game becomes soccer.

At risk of pissing a few people off I am just going to come out and say it; rugby is rugby not football, Aussie rules is Aussie rules not football, American football is American Handegg not football.

Soccer is the world game. It is also the only one of these sports where most of the play involves actually using your foot to kick a ball. Simple logic therefore dictates that it should be the single game in the world that people refer to as the main form of football.

However, soccer players would probably lose in a fight against players of any of the other sports mentioned in this post. Therefore, they are all free to call their own sport whatever the hell they want to.

In the end though, all versions of the game are fun to watch and play, so who really give a shit about what they are called.

I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.


  1. Football. Ball moved, & controlled, mainly by the foot.
    Soccer. Supposedly short for association football. But FA stands for Football Association. Football is the sport, association is the governing body, some countries call theirs federation. Point is, association aint part of the name of the game, so soccer is meaningless, the only word for football is football.

  2. I once heard quite a reasonable point that Aussie Rules should lay claim to the term football (at least in Australia) as it is the only game where you can only score a goal using your feet. An interesting thought. That said, I think its about surroundings and clarity of communication. I’ve spent time in England, thus when I am there refer to soccer as football. When in Australia, I refer to Aussie rules as football. It’s not hard to have a bit of understanding about the people around you and adjust accordingly.

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