The best and worst Christmas movies

Christmas is the time of year when we get together with loved ones, eat far too much food and then flop down on the sofa to watch festive movies because we are incapable of moving.

There are some brilliant Christmas movies that you are happy to sit through each year despite the fact that you have seen them countless times. Others are absolute stinkers that you only watch because there is nothing else on the TV and somebody has fallen asleep on the remote control.

Below, you can find my pick of the best and worst Christmas movies of recent times along with a brief description of why you should, or shouldn’t watch them. What are your best and worst Christmas movies? Let me know in the comments.

The worst Christmas movies

These are some of the worst Christmas movies to ever hit our screens.

Christmas with the Kranks

I would honestly rather watch an MTV Justin Bieber and One Direction Christmas marathon than sit through Christmas with the Kranks again. This movie seems to have taken every single Christmas cliché imaginable and tried to turn it into a funny situation.The only problem is that it’s missing the actually funny part. Your brain would have to be seriously cooked on eggnog to find this movie entertaining.

Avoid it like one of grandmas farts after a big Christmas dinner. Ho Ho NO.

christmas with the kranks

Jack Frost

In a situation mimicking something that happens all of the time in real life, Michael Keaton dies in a car accident and gets resurrected as a talking snowman. Its then up to his son to stop him from melting and reunite the snowman with his wife before what I can only assume is some awkward snowman/human sex scene. Actually, the thought of seeing a snowman/human sex scene was the only thing that kept me watching the abomination of a movie until the end.

Frost frequently falls over, is dismembered by a snow-plow, and does other stupid things that must have taken the writers at least 3 minutes to think up during a drug induced brainstorming session. By the end you are hoping that he melts away just so that the movie ends sooner. Instead of telling your kids that Santa won’t come this year if they are naughty, just threaten them with having to watch this movie.

The brilliantly bad tagline “he’s the worlds coolest dad, now he’s gonna prove it” should serve as enough of a warning.

jack frost poster

Love Actually

The thought of having to watch Hugh Grant and his floppy hair stumble their way through generic Hugh Grant situations is enough to drive the majority of guys to the brink of slitting their wrists with the DVD case. It’s one of the most self-indulgent, clichéd, smug, overdone movies I’ve ever seen.

The incrediably dull story follows the lives of eight couples in London as the deal with their love lives in various loosely and interrelated tales during a frantic month before Christmas. This movie is a big fat stinky turkey shit. On the few occasions that my nausea subsided, it was quickly brought back by the unbelievably bad music selection.

Never let your girlfriend watch this movie or you will be forced into the never ending yearly cycle of repeat viewings each festive season. You have been warned!

love actually poster

The best Christmas movies

These are some of the best Christmas movies of recent times.

Elf

Elf avoids overused jokes and cliches that most Christmas movies are full of. Instead taking a different and welcome angle on Christmas.

The story of a moronic human sized elf who gets sent to America in search of his true identity after causing plenty of chaos in the North Pole due to his size. the rest of the movie centres around Elf trying to fit in to a normal society as some kind of a Christmas freak.

It is brilliant, but also stupid and immature so Elf is best enjoyed after a couple of drinks on Christmas eve.

elf poster

Bad Santa

Lets be honest here for a second. whilst we all enjoy a good Christmas movie, they are all serious and the majority are aimed at kids. Thats why Bad Santa is a welcome break from the norm. Plus, mall Santas are kinda creepy.

Billy Bob Thornton stars as a foul-mouthed, alcoholic mall Santa who only takes the job so that he can rob department stores. Forget the cutesy reindeer and present wrapping, this is Christmas for adults. Bad Santa is rude, crude and unapologetic. Just like South Park, when you think it can’t sink any lower, it does and its brilliant for doing so.

bad santa poster

Home Alone

A chance to see how cute a kid that Macaulay Culkin was before his face started to resemble that of a meth addict. Home Alone is the story of an 8-year-old boy who is accidentally left behind while his family flies to France for Christmas. He must defend his home against idiotic burglars through clever traps and smart thinking.

It is funny how your take on a movie changes with age though; when I was younger I was rooting for the kid however knowing what the star of this movie became in his later life, these days you can’t help but root for the burglers.

Home Alone 2 was also good, but take my advice and skip Home Alone 3 through to whatever number (possibly in the hundreds?) they are up to now.

home alone poster

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I’m an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

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