As I write this post, I am preparing myself for the hordes of illiterate and poorly spelt abuse I’m likely to receive from Justin Bieber fans to my email inbox. Amazingly, there are still kids out there who beliebe that Bieber can do no wrong and is the greatest, most talented, most amazing person who has ever existed on this planet. Were teenagers always this stupid?
Justin Bieber is nothing more than a marketing machine for the big record labels who follow whatever trend is happening right now. He is made up to be every teenage girls dream whereby simply mentioning his name causes them to go into an absolute fit. Shit, he practically coined the word swag.
The record companies write the cheesiest of cheesy pop songs with catchy lyrics and generic tunes for him. His first song was lyrically fucking brilliant “baby, baby, baby oh, baby, baby, baby oh”. It sounds like somebody just transcribed the audio track of a porno.
Kids are obsessed with him and everything he does. The paparazzi follow him around everywhere he goes. Big deal, he goes to the shops… He needs to buy tampons just like every other teenage girl!
Bieber Fever should be put on the list of communicable diseases and we should vaccinate against it at a young age.
What is wrong with Justin Bieber
I posted a Justin Bieber joke on Twitter the other day and got abused by some moron who accused me of bullying a child. Last time I checked, a 19 year old isn’t a child, a 19 year old is an adult. Not only is Bieber an adult, but just like that gutter tramp Ke$ha, millions of impressionable young people around the world look up to him as a role model and hang off of everything he says and does.
If you want proof just remember back to “Cut for Bieiber”. This was when brain-dead teenagers were self-harming and posting photos to social media using the hashtag #CutForBieber after photos appeared of Bieber smoking drugs.
Now I make jokes about plenty of things, but self-harm and mental illness are not things to joke about, especially not when you are serving as a role model to millions of impressionable kids. Whether we agree with it or not, he is still a role model to millions of kids who hang on his every word and defend his every action. He also gets paid very well for being in the position he is in so how about stepping up, acting like and adult and taking some fucking responsibility for who you are.
Justin Bieber’s crimes
Aside from the crimes against humanity that his parents committed when they conceived him, Bieber himself has committed crimes against music, crimes against pop culture, crimes against fashion (what the fuck is up with looking like he has just shit his pants all the time?), he has stupid tattoos and is general a douchebag. He has also broken the actual law on plenty of occasions as well.
It is a proven fact that Bieber Fever actually lowers intelligence by 80%.
There have been numerous reports of vandalism to hotel rooms and also his neighbours house in which he is believed to have caused $20,000 worth of damage. Don’t forget his assault charges in Canada too. In his latest act of rebellion, he was arrested for drink driving and drag racing in a built up area. Cue millions of kids coming out in support of their idol.
If you support Bieber for doing this, I don’t care how old you are, you are an oxygen thief. Sure, everybody makes mistakes, but not everybody makes mistakes that could kill somebody.
Not only is this behaviour illegal, but it is straight out dangerous. and don’t you have to be 21 to drink in America anyway? Bieber not only believes that he is above everybody else, but that he is above the law as well and it is time that he was brought back down to earth with a bang. Preferably face first into the asphalt.
Deport Bieber and revoke his green card
A petition has been floating around the internet and in next to no time, amassed over 170,000 signatures (at time of writing) which easily surpassed the 100,000 required to get the White House’s attention.
We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society.
You can sign the petition here. Go on. You know you want too. If you are outside of America just put 90210 in as your zip code 🙂 As The Hollywood Reporter points out, immigration visas can only be revoked in the event of a violent crime or a prison sentence that exceeds one year; Bieber faces an array of potential consequences, but if he is sentenced to prison, he’d only get up to six months for drag racing and up to six months for the DUI. Thus it is unlikely that he will be deported because of this.
Regardless, he will probably get away with it and be let completely off the hook because of who he is. In comparison, this article summarises how the scenario would play out for other immigrants in the same situation.
This is why the petition is so important. It isn’t because people believe Bieber will actually be deported from the United States. The important part is that its drawing attention to the fact that society has has enough of this type of douchebag celebrity behaviour that we see time and time again from people who hold a lot of influence over impressionable kids.
Hopefully this is his Vanilla Ice moment.