In the latest abomination to happen to popular music, Pitbull has teamed up with Kesha and released ‘Timber’. I just watched the video clip of the song’ in the hope that it showed a tree falling on both of them… Unfortunately it didn’t.
Kesha’s fanbase consists of teenage girls who rebel by listening to her sing about drone on with autotune about binge drinking, fucking countless guys who she has just met on the street and just being a degenerate member of society and future crackwhore.
Now I know that she spells her name Ke$ha but I can never remember whether the $ is supposed to portray her swag or that she looks like a cheap hooker who charges money for sex. Either way, I’m sure that her parants €arl and £inda, are really ashamed of her.
Spelling her name correctly isn’t worth the finger stretching I would have to do on the keyboard to reach the shift and dollar keys every time I want to type it, so for the sake of this post she is Kesha.
I’m sure that Ke$sha’s parants €arl and £inda, are really ashamed of her.
Kesha looks like a trashy hooker
Kesha is just another auto-tuned sellout in the pop music industry, however she deserves special attention for being the worst of the lot. Kesha is like Lady Gaga, Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus, a sasquatch, Pitbull, Flo Rider, a trout and a hookers glittery mini-skirt, all blended into one giant abomination of a gutter tramp.
When I first saw Kesha I thought that some disgusting music executive had banged a prostitute but didn’t have the cash to pay for her time. Because of this unfortunate situation, in return for a night of awkward sex, the next morning he picked her up out of the pool of her own vomit that she passed out in and gave her a record deal.
She is exactly what is wrong with pop music these days; it isn’t about the music, it is about the image. For normal people, her image is that of a glitter-obsessed slut who lives in a dumpster. However, to 14 year old’s she has what they refer to as swag. If you want to know what swag is check this post.
She looks like she just raided the nearest garbage bin and threw on the first thing she comes across. She is a poor persons Lady Gaga. Sure, they both dress like idiots to get attention, but at least Gaga can back it up with decent music and actual talent.
Kesha’s music is shit
Aside from the way she chooses to look, the way she acts and her childlike obsession for wearing glitter, there are plenty of other music related reasons to jump on the Kesha hate bandwagon. For example, the overkill of autotune to cover up the fact that she can’t sing, her ridiculous lyrics and the fact that people actually call it music.
I haven’t actually heard much of her music because whenever a Kesha song comes on the radio, I turn it off immediately through fear of contracting an STD through the speakers. A quick Google search however, brings up the following evidence of Kesha’s lyrical genius;
Don’t stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up. Tonight, imma fight, till we see the sunlight. Tik tok, on the clock, but the party don’t stop no, oh oh ah oh. Oh oh ah oh…
– Tik Tok
Stop talk talk talk talkin that blah, blah, blah. Think you’ll be getting this not, not, not, not in the back of my car, ar, ar. If you keep talkin that blah, blah, blah…
– Blah blah blah
Got a water bottle full of whiskey in my handbag, Got my drunk text on, I’ll regret it in the mornin’, But tonight, I don’t give a, I don’t give a, I don’t give a…- Take it off
Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug. Your love, your love, your love. I said your love, your love, your love is my drug, your love, your love, your love…- Your love is my drug
Not a good role model
And finally I get to the point of this rant. As it turns out, Kesha is actually an intelligent person. She scored 1500 on her SAT’s which is apparently near genius, but then she dropped out of school to pursue her career as a poorly dressed, auto-tuned, dumpster tramp.
The worst thing about this is that Kesha is the kind of person who kids are looking up to as a role model.
She is sending them the message that it doesn’t matter if you have been blessed with intelligence and the opportunity to make something of your life. Why not throw that all away, drop out of school, dress like a desperate slut, get drunk and take drugs at every available opportunity and generally just don’t give a fuck about anything.
Its alright for Kesha though, at least she has money and fame to fall back on… Its the impressionable kids who want to follow in her footsteps that we should all be worried about.