Assholes who park in disabled spots

The government has not yet recognised being a complete douchebag as a disability.

There are some real assholes on the road as I have written about previously. Today I want to take focus away from the road though and talk about the carkpark. In particular, asshole parking and able-bodied people who park in disabled spots.

There is nothing more frustrating than not being able to find a parking spot therefore, when you see somebody parked over multiple spaces or parked somewhere they shouldn’t be, people are going to get annoyed. Nothing gets me more annoyed though, than somebody parked in a disabled spot when they are not entitled to park there.

The person who parks in a disabled spot when they don’t have the right to do so is nothing less than an A-Grade asshole.

Different types of asshole parker

There are a number of different types of asshole parker.

First is the person who is too lazy to fit their car into the space so leaves it hanging over into a second space or sometimes even a third or fourth space. This person might be lazy or might just have been unable to park in the space due to the car next to them. Fair enough.

Then there is the person who takes up multiple parking spaces on purpose because they don’t want anybody to scratch their car. I completely get that; I have a new car and I don’t want anybody to scratch it either. I understand that some people have zero respect for other people’s property.

I would be seriously pissed off if some douchebag smashed it with their door, especially if it is somebody with a crappy car who, because they don’t care about their car, doesn’t care about yours either. How dare you smash into my paint with your rusty door. I don’t care what kind of car I’m parked next to or what car I am getting out of. I always make the effort not to hit anything with the door.

The difference is that I am not an asshole therefore instead of taking up multiple spaces in a carpark, I will just park at the far end of the carpark or down the street a little bit further away, then walk to where I’m going.

I am willing to let these slide though because on the big scale of things, yes these are asshole moves but they don’t really affect people too much.

People who park in disabled spots

There is one particular type of asshole parking that I don’t want to let slide though. It is both lazy and done on purpose.

bad parkingThe person who parks in a disabled spot when they don’t have the right to do so is nothing less than an A-Grade asshole. By doing this, they are removing the chance for a genuinely disabled person to park in a spot that they are entitled to park in because they physically struggle to walk a large distance.

I am not disabled. Aside from a belly that hangs out a little bit too far and a slightly hairy back, my body works perfectly well. Because my body works in the way it was intended to, I have no reason to park in a disabled parking spot regardless of how lazy I feel. Some other people think differently though.

Parking in a disabled spot because you are to damn lazy to walk your perfectly able body across the carpark is a total dick move. It is something that has annoyed me for a long time. The other day, for the first time in my life, I finally confronted somebody about this.

I was in a large carpark with only three disabled parking spaces. All three of the parking spots had a car in them when I spotted a young couple walk out of the supermarket with a trolley full of shopping that had obviously taken them a while to purchase. The unlocked one of the cars parked in the disabled spot and started to put their shopping in the boot.

First of all I looked for a visible disability. Aside from the fact that this man’s girlfriend was wearing shorts that stopped fitting her ass 5 years ago, they both looked perfectly normal. I know that not all disabilities are visible which is why I also looked for a disabled sticker on their car, there wasn’t one because the government has not yet recognised being a complete douchebag as a disability.

I called them out on it and questioned whether they should be parked there. Judging by the man’s reply, neither of them had a disability and they genuinely didn’t give a shit either. I know this because he told me, in no uncertain terms, “I don’t give a shit”.

After this, he told me exactly where I should go. I was actually quite impressed with his grasp of the English language and the way he eloquently managed to fit the word “fuck” in between every second word without even a pause for breath. I don’t know if he was trying to impress the gutter tramp whore that he was with but he didn’t impress anybody else in the carpark with his expletive lain outburst.

The government has not yet recognised being a complete douchebag as a disability.

If you’re not disabled then you don’t get to park there

The fact of the matter is, if you don’t have a sign and a disability, you don’t get to park there, end of story. I don’t care whether the rest of the carpark is full or empty, disabled parking spots are for people with a disability and guess what asshole… Stupidity isn’t a disability.

The truth is that assholes will continue to be assholes for as long as they keep getting away with it. If you see somebody without a disabled sticker parked in a disabled spot, report them.


I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.


  1. I actually have a handicapped spot with my apt number on it and still people park in it. I had to look up and print out the law to get the police to actually ticket the cars that park there. That battle took a year of me pointing out the law to those who are supposed to enforce it. Now they actually do.

    Yet there is always some loser who always seems to find my space empty and choose it for him/herself. This gets old. 200 plus surgeries ago I might not have minded so much. Now I am tired of this crap. So, last night when the ‘courtesy officer’ called me back claiming to be out of town and to not know the authorized tow company that the complex uses I took care of business my way.

    I phone the police, took a picture of the tow sign that lists one of the towable offenses as being illegally parked in handicapped and gave the courtesy officer’s info, a picture of the vehicle, a copy of the sign and the tow company owner’s name to the officer. He called and had it towed. That’s what you get New Mexico License Plate MSH 233. Wake up, take your butt to the tow company, pay your fee and learn your lesson.

    At least I was nice enough to call and inform the apt manager that when some weirdo comes in looking for their car, it was towed, to give them the number on the sign out front. She sure huffed and sighed. Sucks to be her and have to deal with them. But it sucks worse to be so stupid that you cannot read a sign and are sharing the road with those of us who can read.

  2. Right on, every time a jerk gets confronted, is a good time for all of us. Nice work.

    However your post reminded of someone confronting me once about my parking. I once bought a condo, and paid extra for two “Private” marked spaces. I only had one car so I used to only use most one space and a little of the other since I had some room, my neighbor used to enjoy the extra bit of space as well and took a bit of the space, which I didn’t mind, but then after a while I found the space was filled with my neighbor’s friends cars, or his girlfriends each time I arrived home, and sometimes they encroached on my space as well. So I started parking sideways across both of my spaces.

    One day one of my neighbors friends, who used to steal my spot, tore into me about me taking both spots, he asked me to some degree if I was incapable of maneuvering the vehicle between two lines, I of course had to tell the idiot off, and point out how both spots had the same apartment number on them and were marked “private”. And how the ones nearby marked ” V” “I” “S” “I” “T” “O” “R” “S”, which I took the time to spell out for him, we’re meant for people like him.

    • Have you tried the car park at Centrepoint on a Sat night? Absolute shite. Picture this: split sections, so eihter go up 5 floors or basement parking. The gantry is at the only entrance, and once in you decide for yourself whether to go up or down (no car park lots remaining signage to help you), and get this, there are exit gantries for the basement carpark and the high floor car parks! So if basement full and you want to go upstairs, you have to pay twice! On the Saturday night, matters were compounded by the sheer number of cars. I swear there were way more cars in the car park than parking lots! Worse thing was after half an hour of trying to find a lot, i gave up and was charged 2 bucks! Worse still, there was a queue outside the car park waiting to get in!!

  3. Lol. Hopefully being a stupid douche never becomes a handicap – because we’ll really be in for it then.

    I totally feel your pain on this! Parking lots are where I go to test my patience. lol.

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