Why do I need so many registrations and logins

I love technology. To change the channel on my TV using my phone I can press a button on an app which sends a signal through the air to a satellite in space then back down to the company server. This then sends a signal back into space and back through my internet connection to the TV which changes the channel... All because I can't be bothered to move my lazy ass half a metre to pick up the remote!

To take advantage of modern technological wizardry requires a person to have registrations and accounts with a number of different services, each of which need a username and password.

Everything needs a username and password these days and keeping track of it all is starting to drive me insane. Its almost at the point where I’ll need a username and password to enter my own bathroom and another one for access to toilet paper so that I can wipe.

Why do I need to register my product?

Remember when registering a new product required you to simply return little piece of paper with your name, address and contact details on it? That was it, nothing else was required. These days though, you can’t register a product without an account, each one requiring yet another login username and password that you need to remember.

I bought a new laptop a couple of weeks ago and regardless of the fact that I bought the laptop brand new, according to the annoying popup that appeared every time I turned it on, the warranty wasn’t valid unless I tool the time to register it online within 30 days which meant I had to register for a membership account. It wouldn’t have been so much of an issue but now I have yet another meaningless login for something that I will never need. I don’t want a damn membership, I just want to register for the warranty on the product that I bought.

Thankfully I struggled through the array of questions seeking to understand my purchasing habits because as a reward I am now the proud owner of an ASUS VIP membership. After further investigation into what this actually means, it turns out it’s only slightly less useful than a Justice League membership card.

My VIP membership means that when I’m not deleting another promotional email from them, I can log in to my account whenever I like and see a fantastic world of product promotion and special offers for laptops. Whoever runs their marketing department needs to reassess their career path because I have absolutely no idea why, after just having bought a laptop, I would need to buy another one.

Why do you force me to pick such stupid passwords?

37-internet-passwordsPretty much every app I download for my phone requires me to register an account in order to use it. Sure, that is brilliant for things that save to the cloud and allow me to access the product on multiple platforms, but others just want your details so that they can spam you with shit you neither want or need.

Either way, you can’t use the app until you register for an account with a username and password. I feel sorry for future generations who will be trying to pick a screen name that hasn’t already been taken.

I feel sorry for future generations who will be trying to pick a screen name that hasn’t already been taken.

It might be a bit more manageable if I could choose whatever I want for my password to MY account but there are so many stupid rules they force you to follow; Apparently, these days a valid password must include 2 numbers, a capital letter, a symbol, a selfie, your mother’s maiden name, a cat and the blood of a virgin. That means that you are forced to pick some combination of characters that you aren’t ever going to remember.

As if that isn’t bad enough, some places force you to change your password every couple of months. How the hell do they expect people to remember all this shit. My laptop forces me to change my password all the time despite the fact that nobody else uses it, because it was set up by my fiancés brother who works in IT who claims that it’s more secure that way.

I was forced to change my work password a couple of weeks ago and every possible memorable combination I tried wasn’t good enough. In the end I literally had to pick a random combination of letters, numbers, capital letters and symbols. I understand that this will make the account more secure but the IT department must get infuriated with people calling because they have forgotten their password. there is no way I can remember all this for one account let alone everything I’m registered for.

Store all your passwords in the same place

Now there are various programs and the like which will remember all of your usernames and passwords and store them securely for you. This means that you only have to actually remember a single username and password to access everything in the one place.

Regardless of how secure these companies force you to make you password to access their site, people are now forced to write them down in a single place which takes a single password to access, or even worse, some people just note them down in their phones. Call me crazy but I think that seems a lot less secure simply letting people pick something that they can easily remember for their passwords in the first place.

Because logic is overrated.

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I’m an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

4 COMMENTS

  1. My work are the same, arseholes.

    I do use the same password for all social media though, because I really don’t care enough.

  2. My work does this too, and I’m not allowed to use a password I’ve used previously, so I always have a list in the back of my diary, so technically, making it very un-secure.

    I am guilty of using the same password for all social media though, because I just don’t care enough.

  3. I used to work for HP , and we had so many log in applications we used weekly, into the double digits. Every one of them had to have a different password, as well as contain obscure characters and other such things, every week or so all of them would be reset by Admins. Then you would have to use new passwords you had not used before for every single Application.

    The only solution was of course to write the damn things down. Your cube mates would see you checking the list from time to time and stuffing it back in your drawer. which really led to no security at all.

    It is totally ridiculous, enjoyed the rant.

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