Worst Songs – Nicki Minaj is a Stupid Hoe

It must take Nicki Minaj literally minutes to get dressed in the morning then dip her face into a bucket of paint. You would think that should leave her plenty of time left in her day to pen some decent song lyrics... You would be wrong!

I assume that bright colours give her a headache, which makes it impossible to concentrate on something for more than 3 seconds. It seems that she put as much effort put into the lyrics as an kid trying to do their homework on the schoolbus. Funnily enough, this song also shows the lyrical prowess of a 12 year old.

It must take Nicki Minaj literally minutes to get dressed in the morning then dip her face into a bucket of paint. You would think that should leave her plenty of time left in her day to pen some decent song lyrics… You would be wrong!

It must take Nicki Minaj literally minutes to get dressed in the morning then dip her face into a bucket of paint.

At the time of writing, this song had Nearly 83 million views on YouTube. From this, it had only 385,345 likes and a massive 713,435 dislikes. That should tell you something about how truly awful it is.

Analysing Nicki Minaj Stupid Hoe

Lets break it down.

I get it cracking like a bad back.
Bitch talking she the queen,
when she looking like a lab rat
I’m Angelina, you Jennifer
Come on bitch, you see where Brad at

Ice my wrists and I piss on bitches
You can suck my diznik if you take this jizzes
You don’t like them disses, give my ass some kisses
Yeah they know what this is, giving this the business

Unfortunately, the first line is where this song starts to break down. The lyrics were good up to that point. In the first verse, Minaj discusses how she likes to piss on bitches. She then lets everybody know that they can suck her diznik, which is an obvious reference to the penis she doesn’t have.

She then mumbles something about jizzes, which I can only assume means jizz, which as a female, is something she isn’t capable of producing. After this she informs us that if you don’t like her disses you can kiss her ass.

Well I don’t like her disses, not because they offend me, but because they are fucking terrible. She should also reassess her definition of what a diss is, because what I just read wasn’t it.

Nicki MinajCause I pull up and I’m stuntin’ but I ain’t a stuntman
Yes I’m rockin’ Jordans but I ain’t a jumpman
Bitches play the back cause they know I’m the front man
Put me on the dollar cause I’m who they trust in

Ayo SB, what’s the fucks good?
We ship platinum, them bitches are shipping wood
Them nappy headed hoes but my kitchen good
I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish
A bitch would

Minaj follows up with the strongest part of the song Cause I pull up and I’m stuntin’ but I ain’t a stuntman, Yes I’m rockin’ Jordans but I ain’t a jumpman, Bitches play the back cause they know I’m the front man. For literally 3 lines, I am able to understand what she is saying and it actually makes sense lyrically.

Unfortunately, she then finishes the verse by taking some advice from Pitbull; when you can’t think of anything that rhymes, just make up random shit and repeat the same word over and over again.

You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe [x3]
You a stupid hoe, (yeah)
you a, you a stupid hoe
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)

I’m not quite sure what Minaj is trying to say here but I get the feeling that she doesn’t like somebody and she thinks that they’re a stupid hoe in a grammatically incorrect  manor (did you honestly expect anything more?). I have no idea what the correlation of this is with the verse before it, but as I’ve said before, pop music doesn’t need to make sense!

Look bubbles go back to your habitat
MJ gone and I ain’t having that
How you gon’ be the stunt double to the nigga monkey
Top of that I’m in the Phantom looking hella chunky

After an obvious reference to Michael Jackson and his monkey Bubbles which has absolutely nothing to do with anything else in the song, she then starts talking about being chunky.

Cause I pull up in that Porsche but it ain’t De Rossi
Pretty bitches only can get in my posse Yes,
My name is Roman, last name is Zolanski
But no relation to Roman Polanski
Hey yo, baby bop, fuck you and your EP
Who’s gassin’ this hoe? BP?

Hmm thinks, 1, 2, 3, to the Nicki Minaj blink
Cause these hoes so musty
Hoes is so crusty, these bitches is my sons
And I don’t want custody
Hoes so musty
Hoes is so crusty, these bitches is my sons
And I don’t want custody

Carrying on her tradition of making up any old bullshit as long as it rhymes, Minaj opens by confusing Portia De Rossi with the car Porsche then mentions her alter-ego, Roman Zolansi, followed by Roman Polanski because it’s the only other thing in the world that rhymes. I have no idea how this relates to anything else in the song, but why start making sense now. She finishes this verse by descending into some mindless babble… I cannot comprehend the incomprehensible so I’m not even going to try.

You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe [repeat x8 times]

I can comprehend this bit though. Struggling to sting a cohesive sentence together, Minaj falls back to calling somebody a stupid hoe then repeats this 8 times until her simple brain remembers the concept of a song so tries for another verse.

If you cute then the crew can roll If you sexy eat my coo-coo raw Put ya cape on, you a super hoe 2012, I’m at the superbowl

I may be missing something here but I am really struggling to see the connection between drinking from the furry cup, superhero hoes and a football game. Either way, this attempt at another verse lasts for just 4 lines until she resorts back to calling somebody a stupid hoe. At least I assume thats what she is saying because she struggles to pronounce the word.

You’re a stupid hoe
You’re a stupid hoe
You’re a stupid hoe
And I ain’t hit that note,
But, fuck you stupid hoe
Yeah, fuck you stupid hoe
I said fuck a stupid hoe,
Yeah, fuck a stupid hoe
I said fuck a stupid hoe,
Yeah, fuck a stupid hoe
I said fuck a stupid hoe
Yeah, fuck a stupid hoe

Here, Minaj can’t hit a note. She then tells us all about how she can’t hit the note before turning around and calling ME the stupid hoe… because logic. I do like how she has added variety into these lyrics by swapping the word yeah and I said in each line though.

I am the female Weezy…

You spelt stupid hoe wrong. If I could give Nicki Minaj a piece of advice it would be to stop focussing on stupid hoes and focus on her stupid writing instead you stupid illiterate hoe.

You can find more worst songs here.

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I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

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