10 things that annoy bartenders

Whenever people drink, they become annoying. Except for me... I obviously become the funniest, most awesome person you'll ever meet! Working as a DJ, I meet plenty of annoying drunk people but I can just point at my ears and pretend I can't hear them over the music. Introducing Madison with her first guest post. She works behind a bar and that means that she HAS to talk to drunk people. - Ed

bartender

As a bartender I am pretty lucky, I get to party, socialize and pour awesome drinks all night, but as for any job, it does have its downfalls.

Like any job, there are many annoying things about it, however, unlike many jobs, we spend our nights dealing with drunk people and drunk people can be  annoying, inconsiderate and plain stupid.

Things that annoy bartenders

I think I speak for most bartenders when I say that there are plenty of things that annoy us and we have to endure every weekend. For the bartenders, I hope you get a laugh out of this. For the punters… please take note next time you go and get slogged next weekend. As much as we love you for being the life of the party, we’d love you even more if you avoided the next ten points listed.

Drunk people can be  annoying, inconsiderate and plain stupid.

10. Making out at the bar

Please. We don’t want a front row view of your (not-so) private game of tonsil hockey, nor do the people that are next in line behind you. It would be cute if you were 15 but 15 year olds can’t drink at a bar so grow up.

9. Remember that we get tired too

Telling the bartender to ‘cheer up’ or saying ‘we love you’ is annoying. We try to make the night fun and exciting but believe it or not, after a turbulent 8 hours of running around and dealing with drunk people, we get tired too.

8. Don’t wink at the bartender

Giving the sneaky wink and asking your bartender to ‘make it strong, love’. Well done, you just outted yourself as the biggest douchebag of the night. Would you go to a supermarket and ask for free goods? I didn’t think so.

7. Ordering your drinks one by one

‘Can I please haveeee, uhhhh one vodka raspberry’ ‘Sure, that will be $8’. ‘Aaaand can I please have ummm, another vodka raspberry’. ‘Sure, that’s $16 all together’. ‘Aaaand can you make another one’. You do realize if you asked for all of your order at the same time we would have been finished 5 minutes ago… right? This is right up there with splitting your $20 bill amongst your four friends.

6. Dirty money

bartender memeI don’t mean money that was obtained illegally. There is nothing more irritating (apart from the next 5 things on the list!) than when people put their money in the puddle of alcohol they just spilt. My hand was outstretched RIGHT there and you just decided to put your money in the jagerbomb you just tipped all over the bar after missing your mouth like a maddawg. My hand is now going to get sticky when I pick it up so I hope you don’t mind if I put your change in the same place.

5. ‘It’s my birthday’

That’s nice. Happy birthday to you. ‘Can I have a free drink?’ ‘Did you organize drink cards?’ ‘No’. Well then… there is your answer. Sorry babes.

4. What is the cheapest drink?

If you have to ask what the cheapest drink is… maybe you should call it a night. Here, have a glass of water.

3. Indecisive customers

You have had 10 minutes to decide what you want to drink, so don’t stand there umming and ahhing like a douchebag whilst there are 9 people waiting impatiently behind you getting more and more annoyed as they think I’m the reason they have to wait for ages. Let someone else go first.

2. Waving your money in the bartenders face

Unless you enjoy being ignored and being the pinnacle of rudeness, I suggest you avoid waving your money in a bartenders face. Sure, if you are flashing a wad of hundreds in your hand and the change is my tip then go for it, but when you are flashing a single $10 note you just look like a twat. Other things to also avoid are whistling/yelling and waving your hands in a bartenders face to get their attention.

1. Vomiting

Vomiting on the bar, or on the ground, or ANYWHERE inside the premises. For the love of god, please please PLEASE hold your vomit until your Sunday morning hangover kicks in. There isn’t anything worse that someone regurgitating that ABC shot they thought was a great idea 30 seconds ago all over your glasswear. I have 2 words to say to you… ya nasty.

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I think things… Sometimes I turn them into permanent words on a page and sometimes I don’t.

Madison is a contributor to irkitated.com

1 COMMENT

  1. Luckily, I’ve never had to deal with someone who vomited on the bar, even when I was working in a pub that was popular with 18-25 year olds in England. However, my last job had an extensive tequila menu (65 of them) and a fairly long cocktail list too. There was nothing more annoying than someone coming up to the bar not knowing what they wanted, spending 15 minutes umming and ahhing over the menu to then turn around an order an appletini. You’re in a tequila bar. 90% of our cocktails are tequila based… and you’re going to order an appletini? Something I don’t even have the ingredients to make?! *facedesk* Here, here’s a nice passionfruit margarita for you- complain about it and I will kill you. 😉

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