The most annoying people to watch TV with

It's a well-known idea that 10,000 hours practising something is enough to make you an expert. I've watched an awful lot of television in my lifetime therefore I'm going to proclaim that I'm an expert at watching TV. Since I'm now an expert, I feel that I'm well placed to comment on the viewing habits of others who I have watched TV with over the course of obtaining my expert status.

annoying people to watch tv with

There are many different types of annoying people you might find yourself stuck with when watching TV. They can ruin the show for you so if you encounter one it is important that you deal with them swiftly. These are the most annoying people to watch TV with.

The Newbie

Somebody who has never seen a show before or missed the beginning, is likely to bombard you with questions about what’s happening. “Who is that?”, “What is that guy doing?”, “Why is his shirt blue?”

How to deal with a Newbie You have two choices here; you can be nice and explain what has happened or you can be an asshole. You hold the power, but be careful because your choice will predict how annoying that person will be for the rest of the episode. Remember, the best way to stop annoying questions is to answer the annoying questions.

The Elitist

This person has read the books or watched the original series (think Game of Thrones/Walking Dead/Battlestar Galactica). Because of this, they think they are on some sort of mythical high horse, a high horse which makes them a better person than you are. They constantly compare what you are watching to the book and complain whenever something different happens ebfore referencing the original and saying how much better they think it is. I hope you don’t hurt yourself when you fall from your high horse… No wait, actually I kinda do.

How to deal with an Elitist The elitist can be difficult to deal with because they already think that they are better than you. The best course of action here is to pretend you are interest but just zone out and think about more interesting things like Lady Gaga’s latest hairstyle or shoes.

The Predictor

The person who provides a running commentary on what they think is going to happen next on the program. Whether you think the same as them or not, it is infuriating.

How to deal with a Predictor This one is simple to deal with. Just tell them that you don’t care and to shut up.

The Talker

My girlfriend is brilliant at talking through television shows. A typical night will run like this: We both get home from work, spend half an hour doing whatever, make dinner, eat, sit down to watch TV, the intro music starts “you’ll never guess what happened to me at work today?” NO NO NO NO NO, QUIET, STOP I DON’T CARE. I MIGHT HAVE CARED IF YOU’D TOLD ME EARLIER, BUT RIGHT NOW, I DON’T CARE!

How to deal with a Talker Talking is for before the TV show starts, not during the show. You need to be firm with a talker so that they know their place. Unlike the predictor, telling them to shut up probably won’t cut it so you need to take more drastic, memorable action. I recommend having something gross on hand to shove into their mouth as soon as it opens, like a sweaty sock.

The Realist

This person is the most boring of everyone on the list. They will pick holes in everything that happens on screen before backing themselves up scientific proof about why what you just watched couldn’t really happen. If you are especially lucky, you might get a phone call the next day after the expert has thoroughly researched the topic some more online.

How to deal with a Realist The best way to deal with a realist is to give them a taste of their own medicine by telling them that TV shows aren’t real therefore what you see on the screen doesn’t have to be real. After the show, block their number on your phone to prevent any follow up calls the next day with their irrefutable scientific proof.

The hey it’s that guy, guy

Oh you know who that is, she plays what’s her name on that show that you we watched that one time ages ago“. After spending a couple of minutes trying to figure out what other show they know the person from, they then resort to their phone to search IMDb for an answer before yelling out the answer like they are competing on Family Feud.  Your prize is to rewind the show back 5 minutes so that they can catch up on the part they missed whilst they were searching searching on their phone.

How to deal with the it’s that guy, guy Be honest, if they didn’t tell you who that guy was it would have annoyed you the whole time you were watching. Really they helped you out here.

The Sleeper

There is nothing quite as annoying as having to watch something you watched yesterday all over again. Sure, the other people mentioned on this list are annoying, but the sleeper stands at the top of the pile for one reason; they are the only person on this list that will make you sit through the show again all because they couldn’t keep their eyes open. Slightly less annoying is the person who only falls asleep for 5 minutes then wakes up with no idea what is going on. At least you only have to rewind part of the show for them.

How to deal with a Sleeper Stick a finger in between their ribs as soon as they start to drift off!

The Spoiler

This person has seen the show before and likes to continually remind you of that fact by spoiling what’s about to happen, “You’ve got to watch this next part, its so great!”, if you shut up for a second I might be able to.

How to deal with a Spoiler Stick a finger in their ribs as soon as they start to mouth off!

SHARE
I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

1 COMMENT

  1. My wife is a combo sleeper newbie passive aggressive. Falls asleep after 5 minutes, wakes up, demands an explanation falls asleep again wakes up demands an explanation leaves the room while I’m explaining it sits down falls asleep for good. Then the next day demands a recap of the previous Ep so she can interrupt, shout me down and the proceed to ask a million questions. If we play the entire previous Ep over again I’m the bad guy. And oh, when she’s not asleep she’s on the phone right next me at a volume you can hear on the subway and trying to drag me into a 3 way conversation. For hours.

Comments are closed.