It’s a doughnut frenzy

Krispy Kreme opened its first store in Adelaide yesterday... And if I see one more person on my Facebook write donut instead of doughnut, I'm going to lose my shit!

doughnut

Adelaide is a strange place. For years, Adelaidian’s have hopped onto planes for the 40 minute flight to Melbourne, only to return with a large box of doughnuts in their lap.

Upon arriving back in Adelaide, they will then wave them in front of their friends faces and post something about it on Facebook. For some reason, they seem to think that the fact they bought doughnuts in Melbourne and travelled back to Adelaide with them on their lap, makes them better than everybody else who is just stuck with boring old Adelaide doughnuts.

Krispy Kreme OpeningYou see, there is a doughnut shop in Melbourne that people strangely believe is far superior to anything made in Adelaide. I have tried both and I honestly can’t tell the difference. As far as things go, this entire Melbourne vs Adelaide doughnut debate is quite high on my scale of things I don’t give a care about.

I cannot understand this process. I mean, airplane seats are cramped enough already without having a giant doughnut box on your lap. Why bother going through the effort of bringing a box home when the doughnuts we already have in Adelaide are just fine.

Is it even possible for a couple of ingredients slapped together, cooked with a hole in the middle then drowned in sugar, to be much better than exactly the same thing cooked elsewhere? How hard can cooking a doughnut actually be?

Krispy Kreme grand opening in Adelaide

The photo above appeared on Facebook and shows the lineup to the grand opening of Adelaide’s first Krispy Kreme store which opened yesterday (15 July 2014). This photo was posted at 1pm and some people had been lined up for two whole days for this. Considering that there was an overnight temperature of about 8 degrees and it has been raining for the best part of a day, it’s safe to assume that these people have a doughnut where their brain should be.

Call me stupid but I could have driven to Melbourne, bought some myself, driven home, eaten them all and thrown them back up in that time.

doughnutsTrue, Krispy Kreme did hold a competition where the first person in the line would win a years supply of doughnuts. But that doesn’t explain why there were hundreds of other people standing behind that person for an entire day just so they could buy a doughnut… at a store which will be open for 24 hours a day.

The police even issued a warning because there was a traffic holdup caused by the opening. So that those of you not from Adelaide can comprehend the insanity of this, the store was opening on a road which runs 3 lanes in each direction.

If this was for something amazing and epic I might understand it. If it was for a new product with a limited supply, or perhaps a video game console that you have been waiting years for and will sell out at launch, then I might understand that. But this was all to spend a couple of dollars on a doughnut, which you can by at one of a hundred other local retailers and bakeries.

Whats wrong with buying local

The thing that annoys me more than anything else though is the fact that there are hundreds of small, local businesses who work incredibly hard and handmake make their own doughnuts. Yet these people choose to boycott them in favour of an global, industrialised, American doughnut machine (yes, I said doughnut not donut!).

I think this comment, which was posted under the original photo on Facebook, sums it up in a beautifully ironic way (albeit with poor grammar and spelling!). This is word for word, unedited;

“Adelaides dreamy donuts are close but I’m sorry there is only one Krispy kremes and now I’m diabetic I can no longer enjoy them they came here to late for me but I’m glad they are here for my family”

And whilst we are talking about irony, did you notice the “Move Yourself” van in the photo?!

Update

The store has been open for 2 days and somebody was robbed, at knife-point, for their doughnuts… You can’t make this stuff up! It’s like Adelaide has been taken over by doughnut zombies this week!

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I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Years ago, I first heard of Krispy Creme when an old boss brought some in to the office. There was a stampede down to hall to get some. So, thinking this must be an amazing treat, I also went. I tried one and did not think it was any more special than any other doughnut I had tried. The next time the boss came with these KRISPY CREME doughnuts, I didn’t bother to run down the hall, and a stunned co-worker asked why I was not joining the frenzied rush to get a doughnut. When I explained that I did not think they were anything special, I was met with a stunned look as if I were passing on someone handing out $1000 bills. She went on to tell me that her mother-in-law will not buy a house unless the house is within walking distance of a KRISPY CREME, which are apparently abundant in the Southern US.
    Years later, when I was commenting that the doughnuts are no better than any other, a friend told me that I HAD to try one fresh out of the oven. Several months later, my husband and I happened to be near a KRISPY CREME store that had its near sign lighted, a sign that doughnuts were fresh out of the oven. So we went over to try one. Upon opening the door, we were met with a line that looked like one that snakes around in Disneyland. I turned to leave, and the man at the end of the line had a horrified expression on his face, and he expressed to me his shock that I was not willing to wait in such a long line. His joyful expression, like a heroin addict about to get a fix, told me that he didn’t not mind waiting. He suggested I try the drive through. I looked at him and said. “You know when you get to the front of this line, you get a doughnut, not a gold bar, right?”
    Additionally the doughnuts are more expensive than other doughnuts, and I am still stunned that there is such a following for them.
    In n Out Burgers love, I get, but Krispy Crème, not so much.

  2. There are healthy foods I relaly love my problem is that my husband brings home the NON healthy food and he and the kids eat them like crazy – I feel like if I could get the family on board I could do better changing MY eating habits but I have zero will power. I’m thinking of locking up the cabinet with the non healthy stuff. Great article, thanks.

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