Why the Golden Globes are irrelevant

Another year, another round of stupid celebrity circle-jerk award shows. You either love them or you hate them, and despite the constant media attention, most of us hate them.

Golden Globes

It doesn’t matter which award show you watch, celebrities are front and centre, full of faux sincerity as they heap praise onto each other whilst seething behind their white teeth and botox smooth skin, because somebody else picked up the award they they should have won.

The Golden Globes were on a couple of nights ago and despite all of the forced media hype, I doubt that many people truly know much about these awards. Something else absent from the camera’s gaze is the group of people who actually decide who wins at the Golden Globes.

If any of the information here is incorrect please let me know!

Who votes for the Golden Globes

Now for such a ‘major’ awards show, you would think that the people who vote for the Golden Globes would be on a huge list of prominant journalists, critics, A-Listers and the like, selected because of their knowledge, power and influence.

If you thought that, you would be more wrong than Miley Cyrus’ latest attempt at taking a classy photograph.

The Golden Globes are voted for by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association which consists of just 88 members, that’s a couple less than the number players taking part in an average NFL game.

As if that tiny number isn’t enough to make you question the legitimacy of the awards, lets take a closer look at who some of these members really are. In amongst a number of prominent Hollywood players, there are an even larger number of people who are seemingly random choices;

  • First up we have Aniko Navai, who at the time of writing has made appearances on 2 TV shows and has 486 followers on Twitter (For comparison Irkitated has over 4,500).
  • There’s Russian bodybuilder Alexander Nevsky, whose contribution to Hollywood seems to be appearing in a couple of forgotten action films.
  • Then there’s Gilda Baum-Lappe, who writes a few tweets about movies for her 45 followers, but that seems to be about it. I’m assuming I have the right person here, however that wouldn’t be an issue if she was a prominent journalist.
  • Don’t forget Magnus Sundholm who has just 312 Twitter followers at the time of writing and whose blog website doesn’t seem to get many visitors judging by what I can ascertain from the sharing stats and lack of comments.
  • Plus Hans J. Spürkel, who once took a photo with Beyonce (I’m not mocking, that is literally all I can find out about him on Google)
  • Theo Kingma, who is a photographer with a fascination for black and white images.
  • Oh, and then there is Helena Mar-Elia who according to Google doesn’t have anything about her on the internet aside from her name on the HFPA website.

tommyDo you see a trend here? It’s all a little bit strange isn’t it. They are all less relevant to Hollywood than a washed up member of a 90’s boy band is to this weeks Billboard Chart.

You would hope that they at least enforce strict rules on membership to ensure that these people, despite being relatively unknown to many of us (and the internet) are worthy candidates.

Well… not exactly. Every applicant must be sponsored by two people who are already members of the HFPA. Then, once you’re in, the minimum requirement for continued HFPA membership is just four published articles per year. THAT’S JUST ONE ARTICLE EVERY THREE MONTHS!!! I write more than four articles in a year about the musical atrocity of Pitbull.

More Golden Globes controvesy

Aside from judging who these people actually are, then comes the news of that stars are being accused of bribing voters, with allegations that members routinely accepted money, holidays and gifts from movie studios in exchange for Golden Globes nominations.

All up, it makes the Golden Globe awards seem somewhat irrelevant. In fact, the only relevant thing about the Golden Globes is the A-Grade comedy when the hosts rip into celebrities in the audience.

As Ricky Gervais, who hosted the awards in 2010, 2011 and 2012, put it: “The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton: a bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought.”

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I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

1 COMMENT

  1. I agree 100% with all of your picks! I thought Angelina looked amazing and I love that she always wears such minimal makeup! Also I was so disappointed with JLo, she is such a stunning woman but I hate her hair slicked back like that and that dress did her no favours! Can’t wait for your next video!

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