Different types of blogger stereotypes

Alright, so this post is the one where I alienate myself from the rest of the blogging world. Well, the ones who don't have a sense of humour anyway!

blogging

Here is a very generalised and massively stereotypical look at blogging. The thing about a stereotype is that I’m not talking about every single one of you… so don’t take it personally!

If you are a blogger who is offended by this post, please feel free to hit me up in the comments and call me an asshole and I will reply by telling you to learn how to take a joke.

There are a lot of different blogging stereotypes you’ll find on the internet… these are the main ones.

The comedy/rant blogger

Thats me, so I thought I should get in first because people will read this post until they see themselves then scroll straight past everything else to the comments to have a go at me. The rant blogger is somebody who picks at things they don’t like and has a go at them through humour. Many people may think they are an asshole and since the majority of humour stems from bare-assed truth, so somewhere along the line this type of blogger is probably going to offend you. If your sense of humour isn’t developed enough to deal with that, you probably shouldn’t be on their website.

Known for saying: “I fucking hate blah blah blah, and blah blah is a douchbag because in all honesty, I’m probably a douchebag too.”

The beauty blogger

98% of beauty bloggers are female. They write about the different types of paint that women put on their faces and get rewarded for doing so by being sent a ton of free shit by the companies in return for writing nice things about them. They will also post photos to their legions of fake Instagram followers which they bought from some dodgy overseas company to make themselves seem more popular than they actually are.

Known for saying: “#selfie #beauty #stunning #eyes #cute #fashion #makeup #blonde #pale #style #workhard #instastyle #fitness  #instabeauty #bbloggersau #bbloggers #mascara #marsala #bellezayestilismo.”

The fashion blogger

blogging memeFor a lot of fashion bloggers, actual fashion sense comes a distant second behind having an expensive camera. Fashion bloggers will jump onto trends and make ugly ass clothing out of things they find at second hand shops. They will always look for something positive to say about a celebrity style choice despite the fact that the average person thinks they look like they are wearing a diamanté-laced garbage bag.

Known for saying: “It’s an effortless, classic, boutique look inspired by bohemian glam stylista’s. Put simply, it’s the essential investment this season.”

The technology blogger

This blogger is at the forefront of technology and regardless of how up to date you think you are, they will always be one step ahead of you. Technology bloggers like to show off how technologically superior they are by filling their posts with big buzzwords that nobody else understands.

Known for saying: “It’s an innovative global cloud-based solution for the cross-platform consumer.”

The travel blogger

Read about somebody’s adventures around the world and look at amazing photos of a holiday that you didn’t go on. Until they get back from their trip and stop posting. The travel blogger loves writing in clichés more than any other type of blogger.

Known for saying: “This must see exotic destination location is shrouded in traditional mystery, and has a hidden jewel that’s its best-kept secret.”

The gaming blogger

Whether its a 14 year old gamer in his parents basement or big name streamer raking in a buttload of money for simply playing video games, the gaming blogger will have a website, a YouTube channel, a Twitch stream. They will remind you about every single social media channel they run, and remind you to like and subscribe to them at every possible opportunity. In all honesty, the average gaming blogger is probably only doing it so that they can get sent free games before everyone else.

Known for saying: “This next-gen innovation is a compelling for its fun gameplay. I hope you enjoyed reading my review, please don’t forget to like/comment/share/subscribe to my channel.”

The fitness blogger

In amongst countless narcissistic gym selfies and photos of mushy green food and shakes, the fitness blogger will post an occasional article about their fitness routine. Even less occasionally they will write something intellectual about proven workout techniques. Regardless of whether they are a celebrity trainer, or somebody who qualified from a backyard fitness school last week, they will constantly be trying to push their branded eBook/clothing/protein shaker to their visitors and will tell you how good a certain supplement tastes even though they know that all supplements taste like cat excrement. The fitness blogger is also often known for buying fake followers on social media to “build their brand” and make themselves seem popular.

Known for saying: “I just love my new Lorna Jane workout gear so much that I had to take this post-workout photo of me wearing it (making sure that I get my ass, boobs and ab’s into the shot).”

The food blogger

food blogger memeThe food blogger will spend 3 hours cooking something then another hour setting up the perfect photo of what they just cooked which means the food will be cold by the time they get to it. Whilst they claim that food is their passion and they only want to help people, in all honesty they just want a place online to show off all of the things that they can cook because anybody else who attempts it is going to fail in a burnt pile of misary.

Known for saying: “I like to add a delicious sprinkle of this and a dash of that. Oh I know it’s naughty but I simply love adding delish stuff to my creations because it’s yummy. Omm nom nom #foodie.”

The blogging tips blogger

I have left this one until last because I don’t understand the point of the blogging tips blogger. They write a blog about running a successful blog that will make you heaps of money, yet they don’t actually run any other blog apart from the blog about blogging… its blogception. They are more adept that any other blogger at using just enough buzzwords throughout their content to make them seem smart, but not too many so that they alienate the average visitor.

Known for saying: “The clickability of viral buzzwords will provide a massive ROI which attains to your KPI through a simple growth-hacking campaign.”

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I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

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