Why you need to stop abusing hashtags

Hashtags are awesome. But just because you can hashtag things, doesn't mean that you should abuse the right. People who hashtag like a douchebag should be banned from using social media.

Put simply, hashtags are words preceded by this symbol #.  The hashtag is often used on Twitter and Insagram as a way for users to categorise their tweets and become involved in conversations. Click on a hashtag and you will be taken to a page showing other recent tweets or images that contain that same hashtag.

Simple right? Well no not really, because some people struggle to comprehend the point of hashtags and abuse them like… well (insert Chris Brown joke here). The rest of us refer to them as hashtag douchebags.

Yep, hashtag douchebaggery is a thing.

Don’t get me wrong, hashtags are awesome. But just because you can hashtag things, doesn’t mean that you should. People who hashtag like a douchebag should be banned from using social media.

Breakdown of a hashtag douchebag

hashtag-abuse-294x300It starts off innocently enough. You’ve just taken a photo of your dinner and being the internet-savvy amateur photographer type person that you are, you decide to take a photo, apply a shitty filter over it, then upload it to Instagram.

It starts off innocently enough “Omg I just took a photo of my dinner #food #steak”

Then you get a little bit carried away, whats the harm in adding a couple more hashtags “#foodporn #yum #awesome #ILoveFood”.

Now nothing can stop you, you are a master of the hashtag “#TheBestSteakEver #SteakIsTheGreatest #ImSoFatRightNow #SundaySteakNight”

You need to keep adding more “#moist #juicy #EatingThisForYouDave #ILoveFood #FattyGonnaFat #ThugLife # WhoIsBabysittingMyKidsWhilstImHere #MomLovesIt”

The whole point of hashtags is to group similar things to enable others to search, they add value to a post. That means inventing your own hashtags that nobody will ever search for is stupid.

The trouble is that this is only the start, once somebody becomes a #HashtagDouchbag they can’t stop, often their tags per post will number into the hundreds.

Hashtag abuse

Been to the gym? Better check in with a photo and hashtag the shit out of it so that you can tell everybody that you’re better than they are because you lift things up and then put them back down again #gym #fitness #selfie #workout #mirrorselfie #pump #gains #gainz #demgainzbro #gymbrah #biceps4days #feelingbuff #sweaty #Crossfit #InstaFit #hurrah #selfie #gymrat #hustle #motivation #minning #easy #needmoreweight #imsofuckingmotivated #gettingmypumpon #seehowgoodilook #iturnmyselfon #quickhandjob

Any photo of the sunset isn’t complete without #sun #sunset #colour #color (got to get both spellings in!) #pretty #inlove #WOW #amazing #incredible #beautiful #beauty #hot #warm #romantic #model #Skrillex 

Posting a photo of your pet #dog #dogs #puppy #puppies #cute #awwwwwwww #drool #soft #fluffy #pooch #InstaDog #InstaPet #DogOfTheDay #PetOfTheDay #poop #shepoopstoomuch #doglove #ilovemydog #dogsarebetterthancats.

Yep, for some reason people have started adding Insta to the front of their hashtags. #InstaDog #InstaPet #InstaFit #InstaFood what the fuck is that about. We know it’s on Instagram because that’s where you posted the fucking photo in the first place. Putting #Insta in front of your hashtag is the Instagram equivalent of telling people that you own a “driving car” or a “floating boat”.

Common types of hashtag abusers

hashtag abuseThe most common type of hashtag abuse is hashtag stuffing. These people add upwards of 100 hashtags to every post they write. #What #is #the #point #of #hashtagging #every #single #word #you #moron. Hanging out with your friends? Better make sure you hashtag them all as well #Bob #Sarah #James #Jennifer #Tim.

Hashtag Stringers string multiple words together to form an extra long hashtag without even the common decency to differentiate words by using capital letters. #likehowdoyouevenknowwhattheyaretryingtosay

Gratuitous Event Hashtaggers include people who go to events and then overuse the hashtag assigned to it. “I just arrived #ShitEvent2015”, “OMG so much fun #ShitEvent2015”. It could be a work conference, an opening or a BBQ, they do this to show off to their friends that they are at the aforementioned event, regardless of how shit it actually is.

Using hashtags is a privilege not a right, so sort your shit out and use them correctly. In short… don’t be a #douchebag!

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I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

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