Things we all learnt from 90s music

Despite what people tell you, the 90's weren't as awesome as people pretend. Thats probably thanks to taking too many mind-bending chemicals which made their memories are a little bit distorted.

Spice Girls

Parachute pants weren’t cool, soul patches did nothing more than outline your chin with facial hair, and overalls should ONLY ever be worn by mechanics not teenagers.

Despite that, the music was pretty awesome. In fact, I learnt an awful lot of things from pop music in the 90s.

Fashion advice

90s fashion

 

If Kriss Kross could where their pants backwards then so could you, despite what your parents said.

Vanilla Ice may have shaved his eyebrow which you thought was cool in the 90s, but just remember that he has been mocked for everything he has ever done since.

Sure Justin Timberlake is kind of cool now, but back in the 90’s he was in NSync and they wore overalls everywhere. Although never quite as disturbing as their fashion choice in this photo.

Relationships

saved by the bell

Despite what the Spice Girls suggest in their hit song Wannabie, if want be her lover you probably shouldn’t get with her friends.

If you’re making out with someone and they take off their pants, you shouldn’t turn on the TV, coz then she’ll walk away from you.

In a strict reversal of the lyrics of modern day urban artists, Boyz 2 Men taught guys everywhere that if you want to impress a girl you need to set aside the entire night for love making.

Boom boom boom boom means sex… apparently. Thinking back, my parents were probably too embarrassed to tell me what I was actually singing.

Life lessons limp bizkit

You can learn all the German you will ever need to know from Rammstein

When Limp Bizkit tell you to THROW YOUR F**KIN HANDS UP, you need to drop everything and throw your f**kin hands up, regardless of where you are or what you’re doing.

Robbie Williams taught kids everywhere that a career in music is possible even if you’re incapable of writing lyrics that make any sense whatsoever.

Genies live inside bottles and if you dance seductively around them whilst wearing hotpants they will come out. I think she was talking about sex?

Things don’t necessarily need to make sense because even today you don’t understand the name of Limp Bizkit’s album Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavoured Water.

DancingCarlton dance Fresh Prince

Secretly you though that 5ive or the Backstreet Boys were pretty awesome and you tried to learn their dance moves in your bedroom to impress girls.

Nobody will ever know how to Dougie and the music video is the worst tutorial ever.

You don’t understand why the song is called Chop Suey and you don’t know any of the words apart from this bit about angels deserving to die which you YELL every time you hear it, before jumping around the room like a maniac.

Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air… Nothing else needs to be said.

The 90’s

I think the main thing that the 90’s taught me though is that no matter how many times it gets remixed, the original Show Me Love by Robyn S will always be the best.

What did you learn from 90’s music?

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I’m an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

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