Stop remaking TV shows and movies that don’t need it

Hollywood is getting lazy.

movie remakes

I understand the point of a remake. If a movie was good in 1972, then a remake with the technology available 40 years later is going to be amazing. Just look at how much better clothing is these days compared to the 70’s!

What I don’t understand is why they need to remake movies only a couple of years later, or even worse, remake TV shows exactly the same just with American accents and poorly re-imagined jokes. This is what I like to refer to as the mentally challenged culture of Hollywood.

This great research from The Statisticator proves that the remakes generally suck and public opinion rates them far lower than the originals.

Movie remakes

movie remakes everywhereHollywood is rebooting The Mummy, again. The original was released in 1932, before the first reboot over 65 years later. Thats fair enough. But now they are rebooting the reboot which is not even 15 years old, hell the last film in the franchise was only released 7 years ago.

There are literally thousands of new books released every year. Surely at least a couple of them could become a new franchise.

Spiderman is another reboot of a reboot, the latest in the franchise was a soulless and unimaginative project, made to seem all the lamer by the fact it was released just five years after the final film in the series it was supposed to be rebooting.

They are remaking the original Terminator trilogy as well and that just seems insane to me. We all know that Terminator would be back, we just didn’t expect it to be so soon. The original Terminators are still shown on TV at least once a month.

Here’s an idea. Instead of making a reboot with the same storyline, how about spending the money to write another story and open the franchise up. I don’t want to see a darker, more moody version of the old characters, I want to see something new.

Why can’t they just continue the story from where the last one left off? They could give us a sequel that showed the full scale war and the toll that it took on both sides. I’m talking lasers, mountains of human skulls, hopelessness, scary-ass machines hunting people through dark nuked-out landscapes full of junk. It. Would. Be . Awesome.

 

American remakes of TV shows

Alright, yes, the American version of The Office was funny. But they didn’t try to remake it as such, they put a different spin on the show to make it more appealing to a different sense of humor then they extended it far beyond its original run as a British series.

The Office is a minority though because most American remakes suck ass.

The first time America tried to remake classic British comedy show The IT Crowd, the result was abysmal. Now they are trying to remake it for a SECOND TIME and it won’t work because Americans just don’t get British humour and the shows normally turn out bland and somewhat embarrassing.

Take these two examples from the Pilot episode. In the British version, the elevator says “get out of the lift”, which was funny because the voice was rude and didn’t say please. In the American remake however, the elevator says “Please get out of the lift” accompanied by a cringeworthy laughter soundtrack. NO NO NO!

In the British version, Roy ignores the phone till he’s finished his food and coffee. In the American remake, he picks up the phone and says “Can you please hold” after the first couple of rings. That removes the whole reason it was funny in the first place.

I recently watched the American version of The Inbetweeners. After overcoming the urge to pull my own eyeballs out with a fork, against my better judgement I managed to sit through a complete episode. It is literally the same show, the same characters (except terribly cast), even the same storyline and jokes.

Except in the American version of the Inbetweeners the jokes don’t work because it doesn’t have the charm of the original and they are trying too hard. It’s exactly the same program with different accents. Last time I checked, Americans speak English and I’m sure the majority of them can figure out a slightly different accent.

Fawlty Towers, Dad’s Army, Only Fools and Horses, Top Gear, Red Dwarf, Coupling, Are You Being Served?, Absolutely Fabulous, Blackpool, Ballykissangel, Birds of A Feather, Gavin & Stacey, The Inbetweeners, Men Behaving Badly, Teachers, Skins, Spaced, and many many more, all failed hard.

Please stop breaking what isn’t broken

Obviously, I’m speaking from the perspective of a viewer so in the eyes of the people making these shows the viewer is slightly less important than the choice of on-set catering company. Jim Cofer explains the real reason behind all these remakes on his website and shock horror, its money.

I’ve decided to reboot this blog post in 2 weeks time. It will be essentially the same except it will be written in an American accent and with a shitty laughter track dubbed over it.

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I'm an ex breakfast radio DJ who no longer hosts a breakfast radio show so I created this website to give myself somewhere new to make jokes and rant about life, pop culture, celebrities and stupid people.

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